Manual A Guide to Sexual Fantasy for Christian Couples

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10 Things That Surprised Us as Christian Sex Bloggers

Contrary to the belief of many Christians, God allows much freedom for sexual experimentation and play. We are just called to be wise about the decisions we make, even within the realm of marriage. There are a number of sexual activities that may not be explicitly forbidden in the Bible, but they are still unwise to practice for physical, health or practical reasons. You should shy away from sexual activities that put you or your spouse at risk of injury or illness. Sending explicit photos between each other puts you and your spouse at risk of those images falling into the wrong hands.

Any activities that will put you at risk of infection and damaging tissues can put your body at risk. The Bible reminds us that sex should be done in such a way that there is no shame. Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast. Many people experience shame in regard to sex. While shame can be a gift from God in response to our sexual sin, sometimes it is the devastating feeling we bear because we have been sexually sinned against.

Other times, we have not sinned or been sinned against but feel shame because we have wrong thinking and feelings about sex in general, or a sex act in particular. The way we think about pleasure and about sin has an impact on our understanding of what falls in the guidelines for Christian sex.

Many Christians have long thought of temptation to pleasure as the work of the Tempter when pleasure is really a gift from God. However, sexual pleasure is a nearly universal experience. It is important how we interpret that pursuit of pleasure. Of course, once you have an element of self-awareness you can unlock these sexual taboos. It makes me feel so boring. Well, this is about love as opposed to sex. Get the weekly Five Books newsletter. Because her love for her husband is a different kind of love. The prose just drips sexuality and sensuality.

Well, this is an astonishing novel about the history of marriage and love, the high society woman falling from grace because of her deep passion for Vronsky, even though she has a respect for Karenin and he for her, within the confines of the time.

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Are Sexual Fantasies Okay?

She gives up her position, her child for this powerful passion. Tolstoy describes the sexual repression and her need for passion but never passes judgment. Tolstoy actually witnessed the death of an adulteress at a train station.

Body Talk Event on Sexual Intimacy for Married Couples

I mean, he was a cruel, ruthless and difficult man in many ways, serially unfaithful, but devoted to his wife and children at the same time. The important thing about Anna Karenina as a novel though is how powerful it is about the constraints of marriage and her need for passion, sacrificing everything for the sake of passion and love. I hate her for leaving her son.

Parameters for Sex in a Christian Marriage - FamilyLife Canada

She loses me instantly when she leaves her son. Love and dedication used to be directed at your husband, not your children. We can no longer trust our relationships to provide that sense of endless love. Five Books aims to keep its book recommendations and interviews up to date.

If you are the interviewee and would like to update your choice of books or even just what you say about them please email us at editor fivebooks. Five Books interviews are expensive to produce. If you've enjoyed this interview, please support us by donating a small amount. Journalist and author Kate Figes has written seven books, all of them concerned in some way with exposing the inner workings of family life. I don't know what to believe. Is it okay? A: With the phenomenon of the New York Times bestselling book 50 Shades of Grey , lots of women are wondering what the big deal is with fantasy—is it a friend or enemy to marriage?

Let me tell you about two people I know.

Parameters for Sex in a Christian Marriage

I met Mary through my life coaching practice. She almost divorced after 30 years of marriage because, "I hadn't been physical with my husband because I felt like it was detrimental to my spiritual walk with God. That may sound crazy, but I just couldn't be intimate with him without having racy thoughts run through my brain that made me feel guilty afterward. I thought surely God would never approve of my mental activities.

But then Mary sought counseling prior to signing the divorce papers.

Her therapist asked, "If God designed your brain in such a way that you can become aroused simply by entertaining certain thoughts, could that be a blessing instead of a burden? Her newfound freedom to enjoy the way her sexual brain works transformed their relationship.


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That was 22 years ago, and today their sex life is richly rewarding—even after 52 years of marriage! Now meet Kayla. She and her husband, Josh, hadn't had sex in almost a year. They'd chalked it up to being too busy with three preschoolers to have any energy left for sex at the end of the day. Yet both admitted they'd moved in separate directions when it came to personal gratification: Josh toward pornography, and Kayla toward romance novels.

Their sexual imaginations were indeed running wild, but not with thoughts about each other.